With a heart thats full of life breating the emotions of theis world i give myself to the worl. Completelty i surrender this body, soul, all my energy to this mystery that is the moving energy of this universe. Its supposed to be a brave step but it feels light, easy. It feels like in giving myself away i surrender. Theres no more i need this i need that, i know that my needs as an ego to some extent still need to be met. In the same time its not up to me what i will need tomorrow so theres no point in me thinking about it, planning what will be my next step. How will i act when that thing happens that might happen? I dont know. The world has its own will. In creating me, us, as humans it has put its own will into us. But the beauty or sometimes torment of its creation is that it has instilled the feeling that it is our will. That in someway we have anything to say about what going to happen in this world. Thats not the case i have realized. Pain and suffering is acting against the truth of our reality. This will of the universe has for some reason that i have no clue about given me the insight that the only way into peace is to stop struggling. Struggling against that which is. That which is, just is. Why is it the way it is? We will never know. Why was i born with a pretty face or why was i born into a rich family or why did my parents leave eachother. Why did i develop into the person i am today? The person that makes all the decisions that shape my existence in this world? I dont know. None of us know. Its the will of the universe that running in our vains. It is completely and utterly out of our hands. The essence of the ego is the senasition that we have our own will thats outside of this. The dissolvment of the ego is the realization that theres nothing but the flow of the river. Even the struggle against the river, against the reality of our lives is in one way apart of it all. It is the will of the universe that we struggle. Because why do some people struggle and others dont? And why does some people stop struggling and some people continue for the rest of their lives. How does the decision come into our minds that today, not yesterday or tomorrow i will stop struggling? Its out of our hands. It does seem to be true that people who have struggled alot in life seem to grow tired of it quicker than others. And when they do grow tired naturally they stop.